The Friendship Equation Page 5

  The door pulled open, making a wind tunnel in the locker room. We froze, listening. Interrupted again. I could have screamed at the universe. Couldn’t we just have a moment?

  "Fuck," Harden said through his teeth. "I totally forgot about open swim.”

  “Can’t catch a break.”

  “We should probably stop doing this in public places.” There was a smirk on his lips telling me he had no intention of stopping.

  “I know…” But I didn’t want to.

  We jumped apart, righting our clothes. "You have to grab Liam."

  “Vance.”

  “Yes?”

  “Look at me.”

  I forced myself to.

  He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. "You know no matter what, I'll always love you."

  I hadn't realized how much I needed the reassurance until he'd said it. I leaned into him, both of us still painfully hard. "I know." I just hoped it would stay true if he ever found out about my feelings.

  He pulled away as his phone started to buzz. Reaching for it out of his locker, he cursed. “My dad.”

  He answered it and turned around. I took the opportunity to get dressed, throwing on my clothes before we were inundated with children coming in for lessons.

  He hung up and turned around, reaching for me. The difference in him was monumental. Tightness pulled his shoulders, and he crossed his arms while I shoved my stuff into my bag. Harden wasn’t only obsessive about swimming and school, he was a pleaser to his core, and making his dad proud was a big part of that. But it also brought out this tension in him. A weight always attached to him, so he toed the line.

  He closed his fingers around my hip, stopping me. This wasn’t sexual, nor his normal. It was entirely different.

  “My dad needs me to go to some thing with him.” Annoyance bled through his voice.

  “Why?”

  “I think he’s ramping up to announcing, and they are running tests on which family members play best in the media.”

  “You’re shitting me.” I knew what went into politics in the back of my mind. I’d been watching Harden smile for the cameras for years, but I hadn’t fully taken in what his dad running for president would mean.

  I didn’t think he had either.

  “Would it be anyone else but you?”

  “No. I have a feeling it’s going to be me over Liam.”

  I nodded, because his younger brother was the opposite of everything Harden was, and he didn’t care. Liam had no motivation to please his father like Harden did.

  “It will be. How do you feel about it?”

  “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

  I glanced from his hand to his face before pulling him into a hug. “Probably not.”

  He let me hold him, hand staying where it was, body stiff. “Rain check on tonight?”

  “Of course.” I tried not to let the disappointment show in my tone. Not just for tonight but for every other night I’d lose him to this beast.

  Five

  Harden: Where are you?

  Vance: In the library. Why?

  Harden: What are you doing there?

  Just like him to totally ignore my questions in favor of his own games.

  Vance: Does it matter?

  Harden: Reading dino erotica then?

  Vance: That was one time, and I was curious.

  Harden: Better than that dora fanfic you showed me. I still have nightmares about it.

  Vance: Clearly you've never truly looked into the dark side of the internet.

  Harden: It gets worse?

  Vance: Oh you sweet summer child.

  Harden: If you dress up like a raptor tomorrow...

  Vance: You'd totally be into it since you secretly love dino erotica too.

  Harden: I'm just going to point out you said too.

  Vance: I'm just going to point out you didn't deny you'd like the raptor costume.

  Harden: I like when people put in effort in the bedroom.

  Vance: I feel like this is a bit past effort.

  "I didn't feel the need to defend myself against slander." Harden's rich voice drew my focus from my phone. "Hiding in the back? Perfect place for naughty fanfic."

  "Is there a type of fanfic that's not naughty?"

  "You tell me." He took a seat on the arm of my chair.

  "I guess maybe, but I don't read them."

  He plucked my phone out of my hands. "Can I read your history?"

  I sat back, not making a move to reach for my phone. "Do you think you can handle it?"

  "No way anything you read is something I'm not into…”

  “You might like it.”

  “Then I’ll read them,” he said just as flirty.

  I held out my hand for my phone. I had nothing to hide. "I'll send you the last few I read, and you can be the judge."

  He placed the phone back in my hand with a nod. "Done. I want inside your brain. But I’d prefer if you’d read them to me later.”

  Shit. I pocketed the phone, knowing it would be a waste to do it now. I'd do it when I knew he was laying in bed. “Maybe after you tell me you like them.”

  He glared at me. "Anyway," he began. "What do you want to do since we don't have afternoon practice?"

  "I'm glad. I'm still dragging after this morning."

  His gaze flickered to mine. "Too tired for an adventure?"

  This could be anything from a road trip to dumpster diving to getting lost. You never knew with Harden. That was part of the intoxication of agreeing to do something with him. You had to say yes, and then you were locked in to whatever it was. This had both been good for me and burned me in the past.

  "Am I going to regret saying yes?" I asked, already knowing I'd never regret time with him.

  "Only you can be the judge of regretting living your life and not sitting at my house all afternoon." He nudged his arm into mine. “I need a break from home.”

  “Why?”

  “Pressure.” He didn’t elaborate. “What do you say?"

  "Okay," I said, grabbing my bag. “What did you have in mind?”

  "Let's go to the springs."

  "It's cold."

  "It's nearly fifty. Perfect hiking weather."

  "It's colder in the mountains. Do you even think the path will be clear after the snow this morning?” Not that snow would prevent us from getting up there, but it would make it harder. The trail is about a three-mile round trip.

  “I think it will be fine. We only got a dusting.” Harden had clearly made up his mind.

  "You really want to spend the one afternoon we aren't in the pool in the water?”

  "It's part of the fun, and the reward is all the soaking for your muscles you can stand. You need it.” He offered his hand when he stood, and I couldn't help but feel like there was so much more to this than a soak. “You’ll feel better. I’ll make sure of it.”

  "I already said yes." I took his hand and stood, bringing us face to face. “Wait, you’ll make sure if it?”

  A spark passed between us. My cock had been in his hand, and his in mine. Being this close would never be the same. We'd never be friends in the way we once were. I'd always feel like this.

  “You heard me."

  “Yes…” My voice hitched. I'd be hard the whole time. I was hard now, and we both had clothes on. We couldn't fool around there, could we?

  He brushed his fingers up my side, a ghost of a touch, so faint it made me wonder if I'd imagined it. “Come on, don't you want to relax in the warm water? My muscles need it."

  "How could I ever say no to you?”

  "With all the favors I'm planning on giving you tomorrow, you can't say no to me." The glint in his eyes made me shiver.

  "I think that will make it worse."

  "Dangerous," he said with a wink.

  "I know." I forced myself to focus on the here and now and not what tomorrow night brings. "Want me to walk home and grab my stuff while you take your brother?"


  He shook his head, swaying to music only he could hear. "He has a scrimmage. My dad is going to grab him later. And isn't your dad home?"

  "Shit." I'd forgotten about that. I didn't really want to face him, knowing how lonely he was.

  "Let's get a head start." He took a step backwards then another.

  "But I can't go home..." I wouldn't have anything to wear in the water.

  "Borrow a pair of my shorts. We can change when we get there."

  My mind instantly went to car sex. We could park there and do whatever we wanted... I pushed it out of my head. I didn't think that's what he wanted.

  He offered his hand, and we ducked out the pool exit where there were never any teachers, then walked around to his car.

  "Help me put the top down." Harden opened the door and popped the latch on the top.

  "You're mad. It's cold."

  "Live a little, Finch." After Harden had been recruited for swimming at Yale, his parents had surprised him for his eighteenth birthday with the car, replacing the beater he'd been driving which would go to his brother next year. The Porsche convertible was not a sensible car for anyone, but we sure had a lot of fun on the long winding roads in the mountains.

  Harden loved the damn thing. He treated it like his baby, which included washing it himself on the weekends like a man going through a midlife crisis. It elevated his popularity too; before swim season, he took a different girl out every weekend night. He never hurt for a date. He'd complained he was bored of dating, though, because they only wanted to talk about themselves or school gossip.

  It took some of the sting out, but since he came to me after the dates, I couldn't complain too much. I'd rather have him half drunk and laying in bed, confessing all his thoughts, than out for some fancy dinner. The reprieve came with the swim season. He'd been too tired and busy to go out, which meant we'd spent most of our time together again.

  There wasn't a single car in the parking lot when we pulled up. Harden sat for a long moment. It would be so easy to grab him. Kiss him. He turned towards me and glanced from my eyes to my lips, then wet his.

  "Are you ready?"

  "Sure," I said, breathless.

  There was a nip in the air, but it was still warm for February. It would drop when the sun went down, but the hike up there made me warm enough to take off my coat.

  He turned around, walking backwards when we neared the spot, moving to his music again. "I can't wait to be in the water."

  "What if we're not alone?" I asked.

  “The lot is empty. Live a little.”

  “That doesn’t mean there won’t be people…” I didn’t know why this felt different than every other time we’d been up here.

  "It's too cold for anyone to be out here," he said, pulling his shirt off.

  "It's Friday. People will come." It was a favorite make out spot.

  "You can't just admit I'm right, can you?"

  "Your ego doesn't need to get any bigger. I can't be stroking it all day."

  "You didn't seem to have an issue stroking me before." He cocked his head to the side, pursing his lips.

  I glared. "Are you going to bring that up forever?"

  "Until I get tired of it. Maybe five or six years." He grinned, all cheeky.

  I rolled my eyes, pulling off my shirt. I tossed my bag on one of the bigger rocks so it wouldn't get wet, then toed off my shoes, and stripped out of my sweats, which I'd pulled on over the shorts he'd let me borrow.

  The steam from the springs kept the snow off the warmed rocks, so barefoot wasn't uncomfortable, but the nip in the air made my skin prickle. Or maybe it was getting undressed all alone with Harden.

  I turned, seeking him out and finding him already in the water, his pile of clothes on another rock. I watched, braving the wind and not venturing closer. I hated admitting to myself that as I did, time stilled. Only he existed, massive swimmer's back cutting into his waist at the edge of the water.

  "What are you waiting for?" Harden asked, turning around.

  Glad he hadn't caught me watching him, I jogged over to the edge, bending to feel the water. Scalding. He was right; it would feel good on my muscles.

  I stepped onto a ledge, heat creeping up my leg as it sank knee deep.

  "Hurry up," Harden said, dropping to cover his shoulders.

  "It's hot as balls." I stood, fighting between the cold air and hot water, willing my body to get used to it faster.

  "That's why we're here."

  The wind blew, forcing my hand, and down another step I went. "It does feel good."

  "I told you. I need it or I'm not going to be able to swim tomorrow."

  "You've been pushing yourself really hard this season." Way harder than he needed to considering.

  "I have dreams of placing well at state."

  "Does it matter?" I asked.

  He had a chance of placing high, just not very likely without beating Jeff. If he could get into the top eight for the final heat, he could do really well. Maybe that's what he was aiming for.

  "To me."

  "How much time would you need to shave?"

  “Half a second to be competitive."

  Not unheard of but not easy by any means.

  "Shit."

  He shrugged, acting like it was nothing. "I guess we'll see how my taper is."

  "True. Not long now."

  He moved closer, keeping his shoulders submerged. "You don't really want to be talking about swimming, do you?"

  "It's kinda our lives at the moment."

  "There's nothing else on your mind?" he asked coyly.

  "Should there be something else on my mind?" I wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. No chance in hell.

  "I would think so, but maybe not." The pursed lips made another appearance.

  "Maybe not indeed." I lowered further under the steamy water, tipping my head back to wet my hair, then combing it back away from my face as little beads of water trailed down my forehead.

  He studied me. "Have you ever swam naked?"

  My attention snapped to him, the question as leading as I knew his answer would be. "You know I haven't."

  We'd been doing everything together since kindergarten. Sure we had other friends in our group, but for the most part, we were alone.

  Then it occurred to me. Maybe it wasn't leading. Maybe he'd done it with one of his dates. My chest tightened, and my brain flooded. "Have you?"

  He didn't say a word, staying stone faced for a long time.

  I hated it. Hated that he could have had any first with anyone else. Jealousy turned my stomach.

  "No, but I've wanted to." He bent further, taking his lips under water, while keeping my gaze. A second later, he held his shorts up.

  My brows lifted, total shock written all over my face as he tossed them towards the edge. The slam of them hitting the stone echoed around us.

  "Going to stare or join me?"

  Check fucking mate.

  I swallowed hard, considering all the ways this could go horribly wrong. Like a bus of hikers could show up. Or a field trip of minors.

  "Over thinking again?"

  "Yes, because I don't want a nun to see my balls.” I lowered, pushing my shorts down my thighs.

  "I'm going to need some context because I don't think there is a nunnery around here. At least not that I'm aware of," he asked, following my movement under the water.

  I straightened so the water sat where the hem of my shorts once was. I inched them lower, exposing more and more of my dick as I did. Hard too. It was impossible not to be once he'd removed his.

  He wet his lips with his tongue. "Keep going," he said when I paused.

  I hadn't even realized I had stopped. "I am."

  "Not fast enough." He crept closer, and I pulled another inch, letting my dick spring free. His gaze shifted to mine. "Giving me a show, or are you actually going to take them off?"

  "Can't it be both? You’re the one who said I needed to work on my seduction…”


  He nodded, watching as I stepped out of them, the water way too clear for my liking.

  I held them up. "Are you happy?"

  "Are you? This isn't only about me." He came within reach. He could easily take me in hand if he wanted to.

  "Isn't it? You started it."

  "I merely said I wanted to do it. I never said you had to join me." The smug smile he wore told me he did want it, but he wasn't wrong.

  "I can put them back on if you don't care." I started to lower the shorts in a mocking way like I'd actually do it.

  He snatched them out of my grip and sent them flying through the air faster than I could react. "Oops."

  "That's what I thought." I stayed there, totally still, with my tip bobbing above the water, the breeze blowing over my shoulders, raising goose flesh, but I wanted him to look at me.

  He kept his eyes on mine, not lowering them to my dick. "Caught me." He shrugged again, sinking back down.

  I did the same, taking a seat on the makeshift step, disappointed but not letting it show. "What made you want to be out here naked?"

  "First time I thought about it, I was on a date, but it was packed. There was no way we'd get away with it. And I didn't exactly think she'd go for it."

  "But you can ask your best friend?"

  "Why not? You asked me to fuck you.” He laid the words at my feet, no shame or embarrassment. “Shouldn’t I get what I want?”

  “Touché.” I told myself not to look, and I really tried to be good but found my eyes fighting to drop. I gave in, needing to see if he was as hard as I was.

  He was.

  Shit.

  "Want to explore?” he asked.

  "What do you mean?"

  "Climb up to the falls. See what's up there?"

  "We've gone to the pools further up..." My dreams of him starting something were quickly dashed. "It's going to get cold."

  "Then grab your shorts."

  "That's not going to help. They’re wet.”

  He took off before I could get another word in. It was either follow or let him go alone, and I’d never let him do it alone. He could slip and fall and I was not going to drag him out of the mountains again.

  Sighing, I took off after him. We dodged around the snow, going from pool to pool without too much trouble. The rocks were fairly dry. The race to another pool before the cold sank in made a game of it.